Monday, March 2, 2009

Padded Walls

Saturday:
Blood-curdling screams from the back seat of the car. Child clutching ear.

Sunday:
Ear drainage. Begin drops.

Monday:
Ear drainage. Drops. Begin Children's Motrin.

Tuesday:
Ear drainage. Drops. Mama starts taking Advil.

Tuesday PM:
Mama has fever. Takes more Advil.

Wednesday:
Drops. Motrin. Advil. Mama's throat is swollen shut and body quit working. More Advil. Ear drainage starts to stink like the produce drawer in the refrigerator. Make appointment to have ear looked at on Thursday. Can't remember who took what meds when. Begin writing the doses down. Medicated child frolics through house taking advantage of mother's immobile state.

Thursday:
Mama can't move even more. Sends child with mere ear infection to school. Rest before daunting task of standing in the torture shower. Take both Tylenol and Advil because can't remember which one's turn it is. Take child to the doctor. Both child and mother diagnosed with strep. Call daycare and apologize PROFUSELY for being "that mother".

Friday:
More meds. More drops. Antibiotics.

Saturday:
Feel better! Can move!!! Child gets pink eye. Wine.

Sunday:
Back to the Doctor. More antibiotics. Child cannot come in contact with other humans for 24 hours. Cry.

Monday:
Take infectious child to work. Get busted by boss. Unsuspecting 20-year-old brother shows up at office and leaves office with rambunctious bloodshot eyed three-year-old with instructions to wash hands every 30 minutes. Worry needlessly about 20-year-old and 3-year-old. Should have worried about the state the house would be in at the end of the day.

Monday PM:
No new illnesses. Everyone is happy and healthy. Whew!

I'd say I'm going to work tomorrow but I refuse to jinx myself.

1 comment:

  1. i hate ear junk! i had my 1st ear infection last fall so bad i talked like a retarded person (my aunt's retarded, so i can say that) for a week. the kids made fun of me until i started to cry.

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