Bottoms Up

Ya'll! One of my very best girlfriends is having another baby!

I'm pleased as punch! Not only is she a wonderful mother already to her precious son, she certainly does a stellar job of keeping me in check on a daily basis too.

It's kind of like I get a whole new baby too. Just without the extra bitchiness, swelling, heartburn, sore boobs, back pain, loss of sleep, loss of friends and family because they can't stand your bitchy ass (maybe that was only me), superhero sense of smell (which somehow manages to zero in on only those scents which spark gagspasms at most inopportune times), total loss of bladder control, etc. Plus, I get to drink wine while she grows this precious life. I'm so excited!

Rachel isn't going to find out the sex of her baby. Hooooray! It's the best surprise ever ever ever. I'm a big advocate of wait until the baby comes out to find out what you are having. That's what I did. Original? No. But I will lay claim to being the pioneer among my circle of friends. Besides, it opens the door for many opportunities to be a smart-ass to the many nosy people who will undoubtedly ask you a FRILLION times, "what are you having?" Just think about the possibilities! I left many a stranger slack-jawed in the grocery store with my answers.

Since Rachel called me and formally announced that she was off the Mucinex and did I need any (that's how she told me) I can't stop thinking about the day my daughter was born and the moment I laid my eyes on the most wonderful gift I've ever received.

Don't worry, I'll spare you ALL the details...

After the months of anticipation and I was a whole THREE days over due I finally broke the law and threatened unspeakable things to my doctor if he didn't induce me. He obliged.

I was in labor for 12 hours. 2 epidurals later I was happy. And excited. And terrified. And Oh My Gosh I'm Going to be a Mommy! I could not wait to see my baby! Three pushes and she was out. My doc was about to bust the whole time I was pregnant to tell me what I was having so even he was chomping at the bit to show me the hind quarters of my angel.

When my baby came out she was upside down and face down. All Dr. S had to do was just lift her butt up a little so i could see her nether regions. (Here's where it get's embarassing.)

During the labor process it seems that EVERY bit of her swelled up a little. Okay a lot. He held her up with a HUGE grin on his face (he knew what I was hoping for) and stood there while I looked. Squinted. Peered. Edged closer. Then PANICKED! Ya'll I panicked seriously. Because with all the swelling I thought she was a he but OH MY GOD! He's missing something VERY important! I choked back my tears and yelled out, "I CAN'T TELL!!!!!!!" Dr. S. had to turn the baby so he could get a look. Maybe he missed something too. He then focused his very puzzled gaze on me and said, "Ashley, it's a girl."

Oh. Whew!